Confidence and self-worth: Hospital duty

Once a "blank" mind has been filled with wonderful experiences, it transcends not to passitivity.

Andrenaline rises so high that it seems there is no tomorrow. The "first" is quite the hardest because there are numerous adjustments and "surveying the scene". One should take active observation on what others do. You will be vigilant, meticulous, careful, watchful and mindful about everything. Once there are abnormalities that you have noticed, directly report them so that proper action will be given. There should never be lapses nor mistakes for when it dominates, lives' wasted will manifest to happen or will happen.

That is why, the prompt action of doing the proper thing is the sole tool to achieve transparency and security.

You perform the procedures because you are sure about you doing it or you will do it because you want to care for your patient with the attitude of TLC (tender loving care).

Once reprimanded is not a loss of oneself because you are corrected because they want to help you master your craft. They will help you form perfect skills of correct application in order to harness your potential so that you will be ready and be equipt for the future.

Duty in the hospital ignites varied situations of actions and common sense. Building and forming skills is a way of gaining confidence and once have it, self worth follows.

Taking the challenge to call for life's approaches always puts everyone in a situation which draw them not in their liking, but will then be liked because experiences leads them so.

Duty in the hospital finds delight for my being, a calling that forms my worth.

No strings attached: Don't be jealous of me.

It is always been like this. My friend's girlfriend is jealous of me for I am talking to his boyfriend even for a "Hi!" and "Hellos!". I don't have the intention to break them up. It is always that I respect my friend who happens to have a super-jealous girlfriend.

I know how a woman feels when her boyfriend goes near me and just for the sake of mere asking in short time, I can sense that the woman she loves is jealous of me. I don't know the reason behind. But I don't have the intention of ruining them.

It has always been a real scenario that I let my common sense always work. Whenever I see my friends (boys) who have a girlfriend, I never choose to talk with them even longer for I know and I can sense that the woman they love will get jealous of me. I have experienced that kind of feeling every time and so, it is me who will go away, who will never talk more on them (boys). It is me who keep distant in them.

I am not a woman to be jealous of. I don't plan of turmoiling people's lives and breaking their hearts. I am just simply walking in a way that it seems like nothing happens and there is no strings attached between him and me.

I take time to talk to people of various genders. I respect them. I don't place myself in a way of seducing, owning the one who is not mine, conversing in a way that he will fall in-love with me. It is because I know where to place myself.

Situating myself in a kind of a love-relationship of my friends, that I respect and I am always initiating to give them the kind of privacy because I don't want to break their relationship and I don't have the intention of doing that in the first place.

I can sense when the girl gets mad at me. I can sense that the girl is already hurt. I can sense that the girl is irritatingly mad at me and when I do and even when it doesn't happen to me, it is me that keeps away the distant from him.

That is why, I don't reply unless it is important. I don't send text. I don't give much care. I limit my words and I make it sure that I never step hurting the woman that my friends (boys) love.

In love-relationship regarding my friends, I know where to place myself.

Misconception about me dieting: "What happen to you, Arleen?"

This day, almost all of my friends asked me, "Arleen, are you on a diet?, "Why are you slimming?", "Are you in-love?", "Who is that lucky person?", "Do you feel bad about your health that you resort in getting thin?", "Do you have no more foods to eat?", "What happen to you Arleen?", "Is the duty in the hospital worth dieting?", "What is up with you?", "Are you sick, frustrated about life?" etc. My friends go super, fabulously worried for me.  And I was just like smiling to them.

I find my health a very vital part of my life. It is my only investment that could give me lots of profit, not just for myself, being happy to be healthy, but to the ones I really love - my family.

Let us just say, that I am so sick and tired about "palpitations". My heart palpitates especially when I am overly busy, exhaustingly fatigue about school and many other extra-works. I work everyday for a living and I am carrying all the responsibilities which I am oblige about everyone.

I rest to exercising because that is the only prime way that I can sustain myself living despite of my busy life. When you have all the stomachs relying on you and that you need to feed them, it is the one that mostly you find ways in order for them, for all of you, to survive.

I don't waste time. Part of my agenda, apart from my routine is to be with friends and communicating with them in ways that I want to share how important they are to me. That is not a big loss of my time. Of course, being socially inclined, I need to revolve and be a part of people, but the most of the other side of that, I too, find my own way to work, prioritizing things up and making it work for all.

My friends find me somewhat like a "super-woman". They just don't know that I work with purpose, I work to let other people live.

I can manage my time. I can share my time with a dine with friends. And because that I unstoppably work each day, that is the instance that my body demands for more rest and sleep. Because sometimes I can't manage to give my body what it asks - enough sleep and rest, that is then, my body complains - my heart palpitates even more.

That is why, I need to sustain myself in exercising with proper management. I know when I am in the border to freshen up and taking it slow. I know what my body demands and so, I need to give it more of a do's.

Misconceptions come all the time and I can't blame other people asking me such questions. In the end, it is not them that receives the benefits. It is I that benefits what I am.

I always take time to be healthy and to give myself healthy foods. To exercise is the best that I can do aside from prayer. I love my life and it is the way that it should be.

I always understand

There are points in my life that tests come along my way. These tests prompt me to ignite myself in making a decision that always bring good not just for myself, but for others.

I always take the stride to listen for I know everything's going to be fine. It is not a matter of who is more dominant. It is not a matter of who bursts the pride to win and lose the other. It is a matter of listening, adjusting to things, be open to some corrections and suggestions and is willing to be corrected. I am in that way. Indeed, there is hurt, but crying is not a resort to rest oneself from the situation. What best I do is that I will set my mood in deep, total silence. I am capturing every bit of what the "commotion" is all about. I will wholeheartedly grasp the whole scenario. But me, being frank about how I feel especially that I am hurt is the one that I can't hold on expressing.

I am a forgiving person and I take that with great pride. I don't judge, nor carry grudges for I believe that everything can settle in a place where both ends meet.

Quarelling is not a mature-thing. Speaking it out, expressing what is inside you and what you feel will drive you always in a way of easily accepting and learning from the instance you are facing with.

That is why, I always understand for I know everything happens for a reason. It is either to let you see the reality and take it or for you to form morals out from them.

Life's full of trials. I take it with open arms and not concluding to arguing or so.

When it comes to understanding, I always take the grip to listen and accept things out for everything happens for a purpose.

It hurts, but at least I have learned.

My wants. My Do's.My Have.

carrot juice
vegetables
fruits
music
jogging
toning up my muscles
reading
studying
singing
dancing (can carry a little)
Diary
Bible
educational books
movies about love
writing various compositions
listening to music
MP3
camera
pictures
natural views
Kim Tan (Lee Min Ho)
listening
being with friends
smiles
laughs
being busy and have things to do
good health
happiness
love
family
God

...These are but some that I like, already have, ever enjoyed, will enjoy, continue to enjoy, is enjoying. Years from now, I can add up to countless wants and do's. How about you? What do you want in life? What do want to do in life?

Little Angels at the Pedia Ward

Little Angels are cute, delicate and fun. They melt my heart in many ways. Whenever I see them, I always feel careful, mindful and super watchful for I can't afford to bear if something might get hurt or if they are suffering from too much pain. That is how I am so cautious of. But these little angels are not mindful for they are innocent. They are in pain.

At first I felt like worried at the same time a bit afraid because of their tiny bodies that maybe I can't be able to grip them so tight and I might get wrong. It takes a lot of courage to handle them. I do love to handle children, but as pf their ages in months or so, I was feeling tinier  could I ever imagine.

It is like 24/7 monitoring on them. I am like a security guard who will watch for them with eyes wide open and that no mishaps should happened. Checking on the level of their Intravenous Solution takes all efforts for close monitoring. I feel like a statue with life. I felt like a high-powered CCTV. And that must have always be the way I have to do it.

No one is entitled to commit mistakes all the time because children's will be at risk if anything, even a single wrong will happen. How cute they were, that is how cutely vigilant you should be.

The Intravenous Solution attached to them is somewhat like a simple thing because it is like hanging on the post just to be hanged. But it is not. It is the most important administration that the Doctor prescribed for them in order to regain their health. It supplies the loss fluids in their body or it puts their body into a normal state again.

When it comes to dealing with my patient who is a year old, he seems hysterical at first because he is afraid of the "whites" (student nurses and nurses who wears white nursing uniform), but I manage to befriend my patient in a way that I cuddle him and talk to him in a soft, mellow voice. I don't want to give a traumatic experience to the child by resorting to false talks that kids mostly are afraid of. I talk to the little angel as if I am part of his family. I carry him in my arms and cuddle him.

I am touched every time I encounter children helpless and sick. My way of caring for my patient, the Little Angel, always has something to do with empathy. I have realized that I can be a nurse for the little children in the future as well.

I have performed tepid sponge bath to him on the afternoon as his fever rises. Indeed, toys play a huge part to capture his attention.

I have realized that varying attacks of situations is very essential. Be in a monotone will not leave good marks of care. As of my Little Angel, I was able to feel that how much you show, how much you give attention and have that extraordinary empathy sets in your stem, it will lead him to good efficacy.

My little angel smiles at me. It is not about the IV and the charts all the time. It is about the Little Angels.

My want in a "Kim Tan" (Lee Min Ho)

Indeed, "The Heirs" is truly the best. I love to watch all of Lee Min Ho's teleserye or sequel, movie or so and I said that "The Heirs" depicts to capture my 100% attention. And I love to watch it all over again.

My first time watching "The Heirs" is just like a run-through. I am at my second look this time and for sure, I see the story in deep view.

My want in a "Kim Tan" is just the way he really is. So natural, caring, protective, always attends to do for the love of the girl he wants and he is not giving up on it. In reality, I want that kind of "Kim Tan".

I want a "Kim Tan" who has all the guts to make me so special. I want it that our moment is memorable and has full of smiles, enjoyment and happiness together. Just like I love to run, then he is to give time for my want. I love to live a healthy lifestyle and that he is also there to support me up and to live the kind of life the way I live. I want that kind of "Kim Tan".

I want a "Kim Tan" who shares to laugh and be at his best all the time that no matter how stormy the days are, he can carry a tune of optimistic thoughts and positive outlook in life. I want him not just a dreamer, but a doer. I want him to be open and express what he wants to convey, no matter how odd it is.

I want a "Kim Tan" who does really believe in the power of dreams, not just to hope but to do everything for everyone's welfare. I want a "Kim Tan" who sees deeply the real meaning of life and who will ride along with me in the journey even though we can't see what lies ahead.

I want in a "Kim Tan" to be always have the perseverance to care and to share, to love his family and to love everyone of his members. I want in a "Kim Tan" who loves his mother most especially because I know when he does, he loves me.

I want in a "Kim Tan" to be strong and face life without fear, to prepare much of the future and to perform things, not just dreaming, but putting things in reality. I don't want him to be tired for his family. I want him to achieve even more in life.

Most especially, I want in a "Kim Tan" to be always natural and true to himself. No matter how fights may come our way, still, with smiles we patch up easily.

I want in a "Kim Tan" to know me, love me and my family, to understand and accept every bit of me and to know my God, Jesus Christ, Who I pray and put my trust with.

All I want is real happiness, positive outlook in life and being true to oneself. I know there is no perfect relationship, but I believe there is perfection in a relationship if both knows how to work it out - Not giving up!

All these wants I want in a "Kim Tan" because I do understand and accept him even more. That is what I call TRUE LOVE. 

Rich but unhappy (If only I could, I would...)

It is quite queer to decipher that they have many and almost have everything, but they are the ones who need much love and care.

Yesterday, we went to a place where we had our medical mission as a group. And it so happen that a kind of reality that instantly captured my attention. I see them very much healthy and rich because they have almost everything, but on the opposite, they are really not.

I see them with mercy because I want to care. They are confined in a situation which probably they can't get out with and I know they are trying to go out from that kind of lifestyle. They just need so much love and care. They are imprisoned. They are in rehab.

If only I could save the lives of these wonderful souls, I would. All I can do is say my prayer to God and wish them all the success in life and that hope that their good health will restore totally again. They are helpless, lost and totally hurt. They need much care, a kind of love and concern that money can't buy. Only if they have the kind of home that would transport them to what love is all about and that their parents are there to support them along the way, communicating to them, I am sure that they will not messed up their lives.

Money can't buy love. They need love. They need people who understand them. They need persons who will accept them of who they really are right now. They need total care.

Care and love can't be bought. Why it is so hard to give. If only people care people and that they would see the light of the path that would drive them to help, I hope that there will always be that connection that would alert them to do so.

Parents play an important role in our lives. They should always check on their children. It is quite irritating for others, but under that lies the meaning of true love.

If only I could, I would...

Love is...

Love. It defines me. It defines you. It is what we are.

Watching Park Shin Hye and Lee Min Ho's "The Heirs" touches me a lot in many ways. I can describe myself as Cha Eun Sang (Park Shin Hye). I don't have much wealth in life, but still I survive to live the way I am.

Seeing its every episode moves me because everything connote a kind of extraordinary revelation about the many facets of life. I can relate to every situation. Probably, the only lacking is my "Kim Tan". It transports me in the kind of true love that no matter what consequences or turmoil that havocs their relationship, they really go straight, fighting for it. And they are not afraid. They go for it, for what they believe is worth fighting for.

In a relationship, it works best that both will fight for their love, no matter what the parents dictate, what status in life they may seem. It is very important - to fight for your love.

There is no impossibles in this world. Being coward or fearful in every situation doesn't lead no worth. It only kills the spirits of the two persons who are deeply and truly in love. What matters most in this world is the BOTH of you and not what others dictate, what parents dictate. If you are in the right track of loving someone so dear and you want to become a part of his/her life, then for sure, no storms could ever seperate the both of you if you go really, really straight for it.

Love losts when one gives up. Love subsides if only one fights to care. Love turns into ashes if one doesn't show perseverance to stand for the truth. But sad to say, it doesn't come my way before. He has already his own family. All I have left are pure memories that despite it all, we knew each other and maybe that is what is important.

There are some bitter realities in life that needs courage to understand. And that is what I am doing. I can't win. And if I do pursue the kind of relationship before, I end up being the one that is hurt. At least, I know how to love, how to give and share love, to care and not to hurt others. At least, I am strong.

Though heartaches are still in my heart, I am always hoping for my "Kim Tan".

Happy Valentines everyone!