All is well

There is this feeling of stability that gets me going. Whatever the circumstances are, there is a sure way that all dwell in the right time, for the right reason and with the right purpose.

I do believe that persons exist with the glow of going into directions that lead them both to good or bad. There is indeed no turning back if unfortunate things may occur. But there is always a hope to persevere and be the best one could be.

All is well. It will dwell into its proper place, in time.

Purest of Pain - Son by Four

A song that is so great could pass a year, still one of my favorite...Music Marathon!

I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
But I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak
And couldn't even hide it
And so I surrender just to hear your voice

I know how many times
I said I'm gonna to live without you
And maybe someone else is standing there beside you
But there's something baby that you need to know

That deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking

Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
The air that I breathe

Carino mio, my world becomes so empty
My day's are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste
The purest of pain

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way

And deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking
Vida, give me back...

Why do you miss me?

I am just me, typically a homo sapien, but not an ordinary me. I come to live in commune with people and in being with them defines the kind of "me".

You will miss me if you want to, but I never ask for it. It is just you and your feeling of my total absence make you still believe that I constantly did not exist now in your life.

"There is no permanence in this world", I always keep that in mind. That is the sole reason, I am going to be unatouched to you. It is my choice, my freewill. Why? Because I want you to know the reality, that I too, will be gone in your life. And that, you can get ready to live with it, this time, without me.

There is no big worries. Why? We are bound to meet again, probably...maybe...I do not know. But there is one thing for sure, "We are under the same blue sky". And for sure, you will be able to sort me or even find me there.

I received lots of messages of "I miss you already", "How are you", "I miss talking to you", "Hope you are here", etc.

"You do not know I am here", that is always what I will tell you. I am not neglecting, nor despising you. You can actually feel it that I am just here, just near, right now and right there.

Life may be different now. But what makes it not distantly different is that, you do not have to worry. Again, we are under the same blue sky. That, I assure you.

Thank you. Yes, YOU are my FRIENDS! :-)

"You did not open the closed"

It could be more than words, it could be a coincidence, a chance in time, a pop-up or just merely said but not meant, vice versa.

There is this instance in one's life that would drive us to utter words and we just realized that is meaningless at first, shall I say, but turned to have meaning in the end. It meant to be uttered to have purpose or just stating for the sake of an act, etc.

"You did not open the closed" connotes various interpretations based on one's perspectives. It could mean words left unsaid and just remain to be it, letting the tide of the wind unlock them in time, making the "hearer" left unknown of the true state of the "other's feeling".

"You did not open the closed" is an avenue that leads to questionable truth, either it brings "hanging" revelation or it would directly lead to the truth.

"You did not open the closed" quests to search for meaning, apart from reading beyond the lines. It clamors "answers" that would really direct to the point of leading the "doubtful" minds to have peace and gain the sweet price of peace to be able to achieve real happiness.

"You did not open the closed" calls to ignite an action that not to aggravate opinions nor principles, but rather it perseveres to lead one's mind to travel to the countless available resources of options in order to come up with a decision.

"You did not open the closed" spins to confused the unspeakable minds even more, digging the unfanthomable depths of luck in keeping track, taking every chance that possibly lead to workable resolutions. Questions lingered every now and then, spinning like a wheel, continuously disturbing the minds.

"You did not open the closed" spells like adckzvxypfdswqyum18108329#@&*! and honestly, it is horrible to understand.

But my "You did not open the closed" is so carefree, full of blastful happiness and believe me, one of the most unforgetable event in my life. It is so queer like it is clueless to understand, and hey, believe me, it is...

NCLEX Review: No pain, no gain

Taking an exam is not a joke, much more in reviewing in preparation to take an exam.

NCLEX examination is really not a joke. One needs to prepare in order to pass. It takes a lot of sacrifices in order to attain the sweet price of success. But before I rightfully enjoy my victory, I have to undergo sacrifices. I sacrifice myself from the "usual" stuff of being relaxed into a very serious one who is eager to pass. Indeed, "no pain, no gain".

I need to stretch my time more on studying, reading, going over the topics which I have difficulty on and reviewing them, utilizing the available resources, medium or supplementals that I need for my preparation. In this way, I will not feel regretful in due time. And being ready erases my feeling of anxiety.

When you want to earn something, you must put your heart and mind into it. These two shall collaborate. Heart, in the sense that you have to put the "love" out from what you are doing. Of course, no one wants to be "deprived" for too long of the usual things one does, but putting your heart to take such great sacrifice will lead you to sweet success that will always lead you to greater happiness.

Mind, in the sense that you have to seriously let your mind work in studying. You have to find means and ways in order for you to have easy understanding of the things you need to know. There are lots of things that you should tackle on reveiwing. Discovering the strategies and techniques are workable ingredients in order to make your life pretty much easier.

Taking NCLEX examination is equivalent to your life. That is why, you need to:

1. Discipline yourself to study. Never procrastinate. Time is precious and your "every day" leads to triumph someday. Do not dream dreams just for the sake of dreaming. You need to move, show your actions. If you do not want the topic, you need to love them and just embrace them. Best remedy is to find your own mainstream, you own style that will help you understand the topic. If your passion is drawing, then put that passion in learning. In order for you to remember the topic, you have to mark traces or simply draw them and jive them to the topic. There is no standard protocol on studying. You can do your own thing by simply finding ways that makes life easier.

2. Know the basics. In an exam, the very usual scenario is to exactly orient yourself with the basics because questions circulates on that, making it appear complicated. Never disregard the standards, the steps, procedures, the concepts out from every topic. If you find difficulty, you have many resources that will help answer your problems. Do not make things complicated.

3. Use the available resources all you can. There are books, online informations (look into the trusted sites), review books, practice questions, online review, videos, review cds etc. These important things help you in your review.

4. Practice answering questions. This will harness you in fully conditioning yourself in the exam. Never feel down when you get low scores upon practicing, remember, that your mistakes will lead you to know the unknown. Try to go over them. When you answer, learn to manage your time. Always think that you are bounded by time and you need to think well because time is ticking out. Do not ever underestimate yourself during the practice questions when you get unsatisfactory scores. Remember, you have the strength to get up and do something about them. Simply look for strategies, techniques, clues, etc. that will lead you to the right answer.

5. Test anxiety is expected but you can control them. Of course, we are humans. We have the tendency to be anxious because we are thinking if "we could pass the exam or not". There are lots of questions that lingered in our minds. They distract our sense of focus. Now, it is your choice if you let "anxiety" rule over you. That is why, you are the only one who can control them. Breath deeply. Fill your brain with oxygen so that you can rightfully think. Never doubt yourself nor compare yourself to others. Remember, you are you. Whatever you do, you will be the ones paying for it. So better trust and be in control of yourself.

No pain, no gain in taking the NCLEX exam. If you want to land a good job as a nurse, aim your goal and reach them. But going into the process is very, very tough, and if others can do it, so why not you.

Remember, no one reaches the top in an "easy-way-out" attitude.

On quitting Social Media

Communication with friends and loved ones is the very sole reason why I joined the world on social media. In fact, I have been enjoying to use my account for almost 6 years. I am publicly exposed to what my friends and loved ones posted every minute, every hour, everyday. I admit, I got information that helps me especially when it comes to opportunities and extending my acquaintances. I admit, I have known their whereabouts, the story of their successes and needless to say, their failures. I have known their stories of hope and their ups and downs and how they react to every situations or news that has been shared from one page to another.

Then, I questioned, "And so, what are those for?", "Why should I indulge much in this kind of world?". And more than that, I have realized many things and just last month, I decided to quit. It is not because I want to quit communicating with the persons who are part of my life (though there are other ways to reach my friends and family apart from indulging myself in social media). I just want to be me unfakingly.

Quitting on social media makes me to be more focus on things that makes me happy and not exposing them into the big screen. I am more determined to work even harder. It is just so carefree because I can think more and wondeful ideas pops up every now and then without comparing myself to others'successes.

Quitting on social media saves my time. I do not want notifications comes out from time to time on my phone because there is no instance that I can not browse or skim over them and once interested, even attempted to read what they have written on their personal posts. And sometimes, I can not even notice that I have wasted so much time. This, I think make me unproductive. Most importantly, I can fully sleep now. It saves my nights from looking into what others have posted on their status. And I love being able to have better sleep now.

Quitting on social media does not make me worry on things that leads me to compare sometimes to others. There is no point of seeing their successes and I have the tendency to question my recent status and instead of striving one's best, mentions like "lucky are they..." always surface on my mind and that, for me is "unhealthy". Instead of minding their lives, it is always a great idea to focus on what I could do, rather than knowing other's business of successes. I am happy for their ups, but moving on is what I have to do and this atones me now that I left the online social world.

Quitting on social media means my privacy is protected even more. I can live my life without even posting what's in store for me in my every day. I do not have to post exposures of my personal life anymore for others to see and know. It is freedom that I am not anymore exposed to the kind of "usual stuff" happening in the social world, like once I post the event of my life for this day and so what's next...What then it implies? How do others react? I mean, I can possibly have my life story without coming out to the open for the world to see. It is such a wonderful feeling now being me like I can capture what I do without telling the whole wide world. That, I have my privacy.

Quitting on social media leads me to find out who are true to me, who are not. Bullying has stopped and I am carefreely living my life, full of enthusiasm, alone. Though I was so shocked that many find me why I "deactivated", but still I never know if they really do care or just "pretending" to care in order to ask for reasons. I do not have to explain because it is my personal choice. I have realized that it is better to have only few, true and good friends, rather than have many, but are untrue. I am tired of dealing with the "fake" and leaving social media is the bravest decision I have done so far. Now, I am on my own, no worries on what to do. I am just simply me now.

Life in the web is not forever. There is this point of dropping down on what is the trend on the social media world if one has fully come up with realizations and I have already found mine.

The Hidden Nook

Dark, secluded, compressed spaces and compartments like small, open rooms in each sides, cigarette smoke spreads the place, women sexily dancing with ridiculous moves and dancing steps and even half-naked on-stage, the crowd heralded in much awe, this kind of nook is different from what I have known and this time, it is hidden. Going there is like you are going to an underground and bear with me, it takes a lot of courage to see the nook, the hidden nook.

There was I, sitting in the front view where I could 101% see all those women doing their hilarious things. I was totally shaking and nervous unstopably. I was  feeling apprehensive for I do not know what to do. I could only hear my heart, beating so fast and if I have a heart problem, I could probably die. This very first scenario in my entire life, I have witnessed unexplanable situations that traps me in the middle and this time it is with NO choice, but to jam in respect of my friends' wants. This is my very first weird experience, ever! And shall I say, the most unforgetable so far.

At that time,  reasons are dropped and pride are eaten nowhere. I could not complain because doing so, would drive my friends boring. Pupils dilated and eyes shunned to blink. I was quite static at first and turned unease afterwards. This experience is horrible, the kind of feeling that I was deprived from my own self witnessing what I have seen. I have felt that it is not me at that moment. I whispered to my thoughts, "Why am I here?", again and again. I swallowed my own saliva of the things I have seen that seems against my will. I felt that I have sinned so much. It is unbelievable. I have totally realized and awakened that there is indeed this kind of reality, not written in books and prints, but captured clearly right direclty at my very naked eyes. And take note, it is direct, instant. It just happen so fast, as if no total conditioning was made. All my senses were activated.

As the weird dances continuously roll and disco music sounded loud, almost-naked women continue to do their thing on-stage. Loud noices of cheers captured my ears. There they are, being with the boys. By and by, I then do my best to be calm. I said that all are just an expression of art in order to modulate my undescribable feeling. Frankly, I want to vomit. I do not know why, but I want to vomit. I am totally innocent of that kind but still, I continue to be with them. I could not leave my friends enjoying what they have seen. That would be disrecpectful. And so I try my best to enjoy and be okay, where in fact, I am totally not.

The "hidden nook" is not an ordinary nook that I have known. It is a place of survival, of various reasons, of false dreams and hopes, of sad reality and instant money. The "hidden nook" is not merely their initial choice, but do become their option in dealing with life's pressures and uncertainties when they think there is no other way to live and earn modestly. The "hidden nook" would probably make their family's stomach full, but sad to say, their body is the one to pay. The "hidden nook" displays them to be courageous and numb of what others might say. They are the sole "figthers" in their own way.

I could see their faces, as if it says, "I do not have any choice...Come what may". Their faces look innocent, so young and vibrant, but not free. Every dance is equivalent to life. Every customer is equivalent to money. Every intimate encounter is equivalent to "come what may". Then I asked, "Are they contented with that kind of life?", "Is it really okay for them to playfully be with guys one after another in order to gain instant money?", "Are they not be afraid to get STDs of what they are doing?", "Do their families allow them to be in that lustful job?", "Do their families know about this?", "Why is it okay for them to be played with guys?", "How do they feel everytime they display not just their dignity, but also thier flesh to the crowd?", "Do they have self-worth?", "Until when they can be like that?", etc. Lots of speculations lingered on my mind.

I pity them a lot. But still, I can not judge them. I know behind every depth of their exposures in the lustful spotlight, they are still warriors on their own way.

The "hidden nook" drives me to the other side of life, a reality that only those women know and me, to discover.

The "hidden nook" turns out to be the unhidden reality of life. Pretty weird to see, but do really exist. 06-23-17

Capitol University Medical Center, Cagayan de Oro City, 1st Hemodialysis Training: A Success!

The "first-ever" Hemodialysis Training of Capitol University Medical Center in Cagayan de Oro City, Philippines started last April 17, 2017 and it took its culmination last May 29 of the same year. The 6-week training garnered quality teaching-learning experience especially for us, trainees who in the future serves as the frontliners of taking care of the patients who have kidney problems.

It has been said by Antonio Paraiso, DOH program manager for the Philippine Network for Organ Sharing, that close to 23,000 patients were undergoing dialysis treatment in 2013. He also added, "At the end of 2013, close to 23,000 and it is still increasing. You have about 10- to 15-percent increase per year” whom Paraiso found out that the leading cause of the outburst of kidney failure in Filipinos is diabetes, followed by hypertension and glomerulonephritis. (The whole article which was written by Sheila Crisostomo, dated February 25, 2014 - DOH: Cases on kidney failure on the rise can be read through the Internet)

This shocking rise in the cases of kidney problems among Filipinos are really serious and the need to reside on the “experts” on this field is highly in demand for it calls for the preservation and prolonging of life. In order to respond to this tremendous need,  Hemodialysis Nurses are much needed in the medical field in order to answer for the “call of these times”.

Through the wondrous, extraordinary and helpful efforts of the “honorable heads” of Capitol University Medical Center – Hemodialysis Unit, Rizza T. Fulache, RN, CNN (CUMC-HD Unit Supervisor) and Vanessa Claire Alban, RN, CNN (CUMC-HD Unit Head Nurse) and also with the never-ending support of Rosalinda P. Deleste, DM (President), Maria Theresa C. Huizo, RN, MN (Nursing Director), Helen Yvonne D. Villaret-Roa, MD, FPCP (Chair, Clinical Didactics Committee), Sandra P. Oliveros, MD, FPCP, FPSN (Chair, Scientific Committee), Engr. Joey R. Deleste and Frances Gay L. Pia, RN, MAN, we, the “pioneers” of the 1^st Batch of Hemodialysis Trainee in CUMC would like to extend our warmest “Thank You” for the quality teaching-learning experience that we savor from two weeks lecture, one week return demonstration and three weeks of clinical duty experience in the area. The 240-hour Dialysis Training Course are all worth it!

We also would like to extend our warmest thanks to the assertive, autonomous, equipped, compassionate, talented, skillful and competent Registered Nurses in the Hemodialysis Unit in Capitol Universtiy Medical Center for sharing their knowledge, learnings and for guiding us all throughout our training – Mary Jane Variacion Luna, Jennifer Jane Quijada, Jairus Magdadaro, Niña Mae Janolino, Porcia Grace Bajar, Adelane Concha, Kristy Dawn Gabule, Nhestly Abejero, Christine Marquita, Jerramie Kris Blanco, Nikka Engcong, Sarah Grace Emnace, Klerramae Hope Barretto, Angelica Allere, Chona Bonglay, Angie Low Sabado and Stephanie Micayabas and Sheryl Cortes.

We would like also to thank the technicians for sharing their time for introducing us to the world behind every start of the Hemodialysis processes. This is spearheaded by Mark Anthony Nudalo, Edu Lou Acerdano, Kariim Ray Garcia, Jerome Tingabngab, Axyl Russ Sagarino, Neil Javon Aranas, Gretel Maglacion, Rex Lim, Artemio Aclo, Jr. and Jake Labuntog.

Furthermore, a big "thanks" to the clerk who in any way designate us to our patients who we take care and give our best. A big thanks to Edlyne May Reyes, Charmagne Macabaya, Charito Pisla, Aura Paz Barillo and Marlyn Zabala.

Lastly, "thank you" to our patients who bring out the best in us for letting us give the right nursing interventions based on our assessment and for responding to their seriuos concerns regarding their health condition. We have learned a lot from encoutering them. Understanding and prioritizing their needs pave us to be more knowledgeable, alert, equipped, more sensitive to their needs and compassionate in extending our care. We learned how to build rapport and communicate with them in the best possible way that we can.

Moreover, I would personally say "Thank you" to my co-trainees (Batch 01) for the opportunity for us to cross our paths, building the gift of friendship, love and understanding and for the spirit of helping each other on our training days - Mae Dagupan, Paulette April Mercado, Mary Grace Imboc, Nikka Pangonahon, Jhalil Sangcopan, Ma. Elena Valle, Ruby Jane Estrada, Katrina Lariosa and the couple - Maria Michaela Cabasag and Benjamin Cabasag. I definitely know that we will see each other someday.

The training is not just merely for the sake of learning the skill and mastering them, but it is also a values-formation that nurtured us to be more Christ-like as we go along the journey of our individual lives. Being in the Hemodialysis Unit at CUMC spells a big responsibility and accountability that the very moment you enter its door, trust is build to everyone not just to every patient, but also to their families and loved ones. The quality training that they instill in us lets us become more humane to be always ready to accept the challenges this world could ever bring.

It is good to produce history that spells quality. Thank you Capitol University Medical Center - Hemodialysis Unit for making us grow individually and letting us excel in our chosen path to be a Hemodialysis Nurse. We are saturated with all the learnings in this training. Continue to be an avenue that opens the doors in dealing with the rising health problems in "these times" to give hope in the lives of many.  And I can say that this training is a good start!