It was 10:42 a.m. when I had the shot done, so I have to
get the result at 12:42 noon time. I have
to wait for 2 hours then.
I don’t want to take a sit at the Laboratory’s couch. I went
outside the office and there in the hospital’s central lounge, I find it
comfortable to stay. I take a sit. I’ve witnessed numerous expressions of
people’s reaction and most of them show frowns and worries.
Out from my stare, I was amused with the “gay” person who
managed to put on his make-up even he was busily talking with his friends. They
both laughed voraciously at their jokes. I was like silently keeping my smiles and
hold them. Maybe they will think that I am seriously listening to them. Their
loud voices made me stare at them. And it’s not my fault, of course.
Suddenly, there came this old man who was in a wheelchair. He just came out from the Emergency Room. I think he will be confined at the hospital. I saw
him like really grasping for breaths. He wanted to stand and would like to get
away from the wheelchair. He was reprimanded by his companion.
In a moment, an old woman who is with her son took a sit
near me. Her abdomen is bulging. She is so thin. It seems like her abdomen when
pricked will burst to erupt like a “volcano”. There were countless old people who were there at the
hospital. Most of them walk in very slow pace, are stoop and lonely. They look
tired and unhappy. There are those individuals who come and go, to and fro at
the main entrance. Others took their nap at the benches. Children who were
injected cried a lot. Their mothers tried to manage them really hard so that
they will stop crying.
These vibrant scenes of expressions of sick people who suffer
from various illnesses and diseases are the ones of the many faces that I have
to encounter on my duty next year. This day marks me to prepare myself more and
let my emotional side be in control for I don’t want to cry as I see these kinds
of patients when I am on duty struggling really, really hard. I am glad that
this scenario reminds me again to be more tough to face realities that
softening of my feelings towards the situation must be modulated, instead my
care should I give more of priority to of.
I know that it is normal to feel pity to these kinds of
people, but I don’t let myself being drown to the kind of feeling that I will
seriously let me feel in a way that I have to think about the situation all
over again deeply which resulted to weaken me.
I know I can be of help to them. I will care for them and I
will never let any instance of myself being too much emotional surface the
whole process because I have to mind that my help and care for them are indeed
in demand, urgently needed.
I don’t want to feel weak because they are already weak. I
want to uplift them with the way I care.
