Friday, December 6, 2013

I see my mother in them

Until now I can't get over with the reality I have seen last day when we have our tour. The people are very, very, very pitiful. Marked faces of worriness, fear, insufficiency, in tears, hopelessness, etc. dominantly seen all over the place. It is overcrowding. For me, it is definitely not conducive for health.

Those faces are the kind of faces I remember, the time before, when my mother is suffering from the excruciating pain of her disease, an "endless" struggle of her Stage-4 cancer, way back in 2004.

Her pains are my extreme pains. Her tears are my unstoppable tears. Her discomforts are my super discomforts. Her determination to combat the disease is my hope, but unfortunately, she was not able to make it.

Those times reveal the bitter-sweet reality. But life is not really ours. I can't hold the time, but to accept the fact and let it transcendingly slip away, like to gradually accept like the wind and let it passes by. 

It is my topmost pain that in realiy until now. I am struggling to feel her presence. I miss her so much.

That is the kind of feeling I have seen in the people being admitted and confined in the so-called "living cell" (I prefer to name it). I see my mother in them because it seems like when they are suffering in a very serious disease, one can't rightfully do something because they will not be able to make it. The reality calls for an end. Most of the people there are helpless. They need 100% care. They need the kind of care that is rightfully due to them.

Everytime I see them struggling and in pain, everytime I see them helpless because of their pain, everytime they cry because of their condition, I knew that I could not leave them because I see my mother in them.

If there is an instant magic that only men could do, then I will transform all of them to being well. But I don't have the capacity to directly bring "magic" literally for the power I have is only through the power of truer, vibrantly and rightful care that only my hands, my heart and my mind can do to help them.

I see my mother in them.
 

No comments:

Post a Comment