Understanding: All that was left.

Have you ever felt that there is always "missing" where in fact there is really none, for those who sees you as such. But deep within your soul, there is. It is quiet weird, but it is worth tolerable.

 

Life is queer. Captivating to be mesmerized by all the selfish pleasures and material happiness this world could ever give, I stand calm for not a single one, I remember, I dream of.

 

There you are standing in the crossroads, often. You have nothing in mind, but just a piece of understanding all the time. A kind of understanding that makes you numb from complaining because there is really no reason to complain. And all of a sudden, you create suggestions in your mind, but just in your thoughts, for as usual, your attitude of "you don't have the right to complain" flourish on you. Then, you just understand everything as if you don't have the choice, but really to meet at one point - to understand.

I was welcomed in this "new year" (2015) with depths of much understanding in every situation as I was tested many times this day. And as usual, since I don't have the right to complain, I keep my word and just stay calm and understand the situation because I am more on "their" feelings than "mine".

Am I always a martyr in this? If I were to ask, "Yes!" my reply because "to understand" is the only thing that I know and deeply rooted in me whenever I encounter situations. I can't force the scenario if it is not justifiable. All I just do is to "always understand".

"Understanding" is my way of sacrificing, my way of respecting, my way of showing how much I love and care the person, my way of giving what I want to let them in, my way of accepting things that life doesn't always come my way. But the best in all of that:

"I will not stop trying because I want to know what is on the other side of the road."

Just a sort of reflection I have for this day...:-) I know you have yours in mind too.