Been thinking...

Having the possibility that I can't pursue schooling is what I already anticipate to happen. Here I am finding ways in order to live, not just for me, but for them. I am thinking of going back to work.

It is a sad feeling that situations always have its blatant revelation. It leads me to think and to weigh things more deeply. Oftentimes my thinking leads me to question -"Why am I always in "misery"? "Why my world always presses on me?". Good thing, I know how to breath or if not, I will be drowned into place. "When can I be totally happy?", I say.

My friend told me to find an old rich man to marry and be happy. That is a ridiculous idea. Partly, she maybe right, but I don't want to dwell into such an idea. I don't want to regret in the end. I don't want to hurt a person and fake the whole thing. I don't want to sarifice my heart and be miserable for the rest of my life if that is the case especially if I don't love the person.

I respect my friend's opinion because that is the way she viewed it.

Insufficiency and scarcity, I hate them both, but I am working to combat them even though they are turmoiling me every now and then. It is a factual battle that I am facing everyday. Good thing that I am the optimistic type.

Frankly, even if my world always presses me down, I become stronger each day. I don't want to lose a chance because of not being able to find ways.

Life is always tough. Always, the one who wins is the one who thinks he can. Of course, I have fears, but that all fades away because I only hope for good things to come. 

People may fall down, bully by time, but it is just it. What matters most is the stand from any and every fall.

My friends asked me that why I am already so mature to weigh things up. I reply saying, "Ever since I was 8, I have taste already the bitter-sweet of life and my experiences educate me to stand after every fall, every pains, every time."

My secret: Thanking to have these extraordinary blessings - loving family and wonderful friends and that I couldn't ask for more.

Pursuing my education is my ultimate dream, my want. Who knows, decisions change. Maybe I will be opt to school next semester, who knows. Yes, who knows! :-)