Monday, December 23, 2013

Where are you Arleen?

I never expected that my friends will search for me. I thought being around with them is just a presence away, but for these past days, they said, "Where are you Arleen?" even we just talked days ago. And they were like, "Arleen!", "Arleen!", "Arleen!". That, I find very much okay. (Hahaha...If I have my album, one of the songs is entitled, "Where are you Arleen?")

Every time when I am at home, especially during long breaks or holidays, my friends are always finding me. They want me to be around. They said that they misses me so much and I was like saying, "Why do you guys miss me where in fact, we just saw each other last day?" And they are like, "We miss your company". With that, I appreciate and know myself even more that my friends can't also live without me. They just don't know that I can't also live without them.

Being with friends, for me is like touching their lives in many ways. Reflections, realizations, learnings and much more experiences capture to surface the whole atmosphere when we are with each other. I listen to them attentively and tell inpiring words and appreciation that are coming from the heart and they are listening to me, laughing and smiling all the time. Then, I asked, "Are they smiling or laughing because I am funny, a joker, or are they just being amused for me being around?"

If the answer is funny or a joker (if they find me that way), I can say that I am not that. Maybe they find me a joker because I usually make them smile and I have this sense of humor that would drive them to at least make their day right, smile and laugh. But in the actual sense as I view what I usually say, there is no funny parts of them or unless my expression permits them so to seem like funny. That is the moment they laugh and smile.

Frankly, I am not a joker or a funny person. I can't even deliver a single piece of joke. But what I have observed about myself is that when I act, everyone is laughing. I don't get offended with that because I know that my actions may seem extraordinary in their perceptions. But at least I make them smile and laugh. I respect them for that.

My sense of humor, I know leads me to them. I always love to share what I learn, will learn, shall have to learn, can learn, etc. I love to share feelings that are deep inside, from the heart. I always want to listen and capture the meat of the discussion or the sense of the thought every time someone speaks. But I never judge because I know there are reasons behind what they say. It may seem not in par with my opinion, but it is them, I can't judge them for what they believe.

They may find me judgmental with the way I act and react, but in totality, it is just a state of mind, not really that seriously judging. I believe that every individual is endowed with sense and everyone is entitled to his own opinion and in that part, I respect that a lot.

Oftentimes too, I can question when they started to laugh, not a single word from what I say - "Is the problem my face?"..."Why are they laughing or acting like that?"...Then it always lead me to think that my sense of humor apts me to let them react that way and I find it okay.

There is frankness from what I say and when I was being franked by or was franked by a person, at first, if it is not good, I will be hurt, but in moment, it can easily be healed.

I am a very forgiving person. I don't carry grudges because that is not me. I always want to settle things right at the moment, no tomorrows, no ifs, etc. I always take everyone special and with my sense of humor, I am very thankful for this gift. At least, I made them all smile and laugh. I know the world has lots of problems. At least, I can help them stretch and exercise their muscles out.

That is why, my friends are always looking for me. :-) Probably, because they find me funny. Hahaha! Huhuhuhu!

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